自分でこのポーストが名前をあげて下さい

Good Evening Readers:

Today, if you can’t read the Japanese or didn’t bother to use a translator for the title already, you get to choose the title of this blog.  Or you can not worry about it; either way this blog will be a general update.

Socially and Physically I’ve been in decent health.  Despite having work constantly and still having no money for the things that I want, I’ve been kicking it with new people.  It’s a good thing because I don’t really have many friends at all, so the time that I do kick it with good company is cherished.  Physically, I’ve been in the best shape since I was in football/track back in high school (considering my circumstances as a college student not attached to any athletic team).  I wish I was as strong I used to be, but my body hasn’t had any problems putting on muscle before, so if I work at it I should be alright.

Mentally, this week has definitely been up and down.  I’ve come to realize that I have developed terrible anxiety about writing papers in English since being abroad.  This sucks because every other class I’m in is fine except for the one where I have to write the most.  Long story short I’m catching up on those papers and praying that this teacher can understand.  It’s also been up and down due to the stress level of everyone else going up.  Trying to be easy and stay cool is something that I try to maintain, but the effervescence of it all still finds a way to get me caught up in it.

*sigh* Everyday I’m learning how genetics plays an integral role in every way.  I swear it’s one of the main methods in how parents know the things that you do before you do it or aren’t surprised when you do stupid shit.  For example, me and my sister can’t handle stress, or rather, have a low threshold for bullshit.  All it takes is one little thing, and it’s over.  How we deal with it is completely dependent upon extenuating circumstances and our mood at the time, but generally I tend to back away from it and attack it from another angle rather than straight up.  Rational decisions come from rational thought; this kind of thought is impossible if there is no thinking done before decisions are made.  And I know I don’t think when I’m stressed/angered.

Anyways, the reason why i brought it up is because with someone like me needs tricks to keep my stress level down.  For example, I’m trapped in a school full of high-maintenance, superficial females who complain about being single (in various ways), my working hours are the most inconvenient in the entire school (and I work HARD), and I’m trying to do other things yet I suck at time management.  There are many ways that I choose to de-stress, but sometimes it’s not enough.  No worries, I’ll manage but often times I wonder what it’s like to be superficial or to not work ever or have plenty of time to do anything that I pleased; essentially, experience what other people experience.

Most of the stress is due to some issues dealing with culture; I find myself dissatisfied with the cultures that I know.  Not happy with SC, African-American, Caucasian, Asian, etc. culture.  Cali is dope, but culturally I have no idea what’s going on.  I feel as if there’s no real stability in where I can comfortably identify myself as.  I’ll always be 24/7 black and proud of it, but it sucks having no one to relate to when you step out to the majority of the world where people like you are at best rare (if existent at all).

So yeah, really random blog but random is better than nothing right?  I have basically two weeks until this semester is over, so I have a lot of shit to do.  My first DJ set is supposed to be on Friday; I’m hella nervous about that since I’ve only DJ’d once my entire life.  I have to get a playlist together and practice the hell out of it so I can at least switch the songs without too many issues.  All the papers I have to catch up on and get my JET application out!  Fuck I’ve been slacking on that!!!!!! (see how easily the stress builds?)

Anyways, be easy readers and I’ll try to post blogs throughout this week; gonna be trying to different things so we’ll see how it goes.

Peace~ Snowfield Rhapsody