Today, I Won Again
- James Kelly
- Feb 10, 2012
- 5 min read
I was in the 3rd grade when I got into my first fight with someone outside of my family.
Did I win the fight?
Yes.
Did I get in trouble for the fight?
Yes.
Did I start the fight?
No.
Situation: Me and a friend of mines at the time were playing around with a guy from our class (I still know these people in real life by the way) who was at least half a foot taller than the both of us. You know how when some kids feel dominant they like to express it so that they can feel more powerful? Yeah, same situation; this guy tried to make us fight each other and do other things or else we were going to get beaten up by him. So when I refused to listen (my moms ain’t raise no lil bitch) grabbed me by the cuff of my shirt while the other guy stood there in fear crying. Long story short I punched him in the face a couple of times before the teacher broke up the fight.
When I was confronted by the teacher as to the reason why I was fighting, I straight up told her “I was being bullied”.
“No you weren’t, what was the real reason why you were fighthing?!!”
“It is the truth, ____ was bothering me and ____ and I just defended myself when he grabbed me.”
“Stop lying and tell the truth! Why were you fighting?!”
“…….”
“James! Answer me!”
“….Teacher, I was fighting for absolutely no reason whatsoever. -_-“
“I see, since you want to fight, you’ll be written….”
At that point I had lost hope and trust in adult’s judgement until my next write-up when I was a senior in high school.
So from that long ass story, would you consider this a victory?
Or would this be considered a defeat?
Oh, by the way: The bully received no punishment whatsoever since I was fighting “for no reason” according to the write-up. (FYI – I believe this guy is working some dead-end job and may be on that ‘snow’ according to my contacts)
Now does it feel like more of a defeat or more of a victory?
The gist of this whole introduction can be expressed by something my football coach told our team one day during practice:
“You have to learn how to win.”
Even though our football team won 3 games and lost 7 that season, from that point on I realized that he was right. Winning is a mindset – a relative term that can be achieved by the way you interpret a set of actions in front of you. Basically, I’m going to teach you how to win at everything that you do within this one blog. Are you ready?
Let’s go back to the beginning of my story and change things around a bit. We all know that bullying has become a mainstream topic for the media, specifically more towards the adolescent gay population nowadays – that means that situations happen like this all the time. For people less bold than me in a situation like this, for whatever reason (i.g. parents’ disapproval of fighting, too scared due to no previous fighting experience, natural paralyzing fear of something that seems bigger than one’s self, etc.) many people do not fight back. Does this mean they lack strength?
No, and here’s the reason why:
Even if that person breaks due to this bullying, as long as he isn’t BROKEN, then that person still has strength.
Just the fact that you haven’t completely given up is proof that you have strength.
With strength, we have the ability to overcome anything. Realizing that you have that strength is the catalyst to successfully winning at everything that you do. I’ll put it like this: A small victory is better than a complete loss, right? You just lost in a video game to a friend who is slightly better than you? Nah, you just won because you didn’t give up like a bitch in frustration even when you realized you were going to lose before the match was over. This small victory becomes a bigger victory within itself if you are the sore loser type. Using your strength to overcome the want to give up and not continue is the same strength that is possessed and needed by the person thinking about committing suicide due to repeated acts of bullying.
As many of my friends that have worked out with me can attest to, I don’t usually tell people to do or convince them of things that I normally wouldn’t do. Shit, if I didn’t think like this then my inherent nature (pessimism) would always try to convince me that I’m always losing rather than the reverse. But that’s the beauty of thinking this way! Today serves as a perfect way to explain this theory’s applicability to my life:
My drawings in art class today was garbage compared to everyone else. There was even a stick figure drawn in there.
I was tired all day because I stayed up late and had to survive 6 hours of classes on three and a half hours of sleep.
I had work all night and I’ll have to stay up late again to get my Capstone in line (my senior thesis).
Sounds like an average shit day right?
Well, let me show you how to win:
My art was garbage compared to everyone else’s pictures, but it was the best picture that I’ve ever drawn in my life. I will probably not reach the same level of artistry as my fellow classmates, but by the end of the class period I was a MUCH better drawer than when I first walked into class a couple of hours prior. And I could have just bitched out and handed my drawing to someone to bring into class and faked being sick.
Yes, I was tired as HELL all day, but at least I was able to get 3 1/2 hours of sleep rather than only 3 or 2 1/2. And I didn’t fall asleep in class and participated when necessary.
I may have work, but at least I still have a job today and I’m getting PAID! And I may not get much sleep again, but at least my Capstone will be dope for the deadline tomorrow.
See?
Today was shitty, but it could have been worse.
Because I held out the strength to do little things despite the circumstances:
Today, I Won Again.
And guess what?
I’m still winning, even now.
I changed up the background and I’m also trying out new ways of blogging. Maybe you readers haven’t noticed it, which could discourage others. As for me? I’m winning because I at least made the attempt to change things up to keep things interesting for me and my readers. I didn’t lose to any negative feelings (even when I had doubts) and I don’t ever intend to as long as I can remember that I do have strength. No matter how weak that strength may feel.
Keep winning readers~
PNBE
Snowfield Rhapsody
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