WHY DA FUCK IS SHIT ALWAYS MY DAMN FAULT?!

FUCK THAT BULLSHIT, I’LL BE DAMNED IF I’MMA LET PEOPLE ALWAYS PLACE THE BLAME ON ME!  FUCK THAT SHIT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!  IF THERE WAS A STRONGER WORD THAN FUCK OUT THERE, I’D BE USIN DAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.

My apologizes to the ones that are sensitive to language, but I feel it’s necessary to properly convey how I feel.  My sis always says “You know, I think it’s better to tell someone else off without cussing.” as if cussing was some unsophisticated way of speaking.  And although it isn’t the most tasteful way to say things, I feel that in order for people to understand you,  you gotta speak the same language as them.  So if you using big words on niggaz that will just cuss you out, then I guess you will be fine with not being understood.

Cuss words are universal in every language, and these are the words that fit the way that I feel towards the situation(s) that I’m about to talk about.

“Why YOU don’t come and see me?”

“Why don’t YOU be hittin me up?”

“Why didn’t YOU do this?”

YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU!!!!!!!

“Hey, can YOU help me out with this?”

“Hey, can I get a favor from YOU?”

Everyone that is blaming ME not doing something for YOU when YOU ain’t did SHIT, SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OFF MY NUTSACK, AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING FOR ME!

Like I said, my apologizes for the strong language, but ever since I’ve been a sociable person I’ve had people always blaming me for their unpleasantness with the kind of relationship that we have.  It would be fine if they was bustin their ass to maintain the relationship and I just sat on my ass, but it aint even like that.  In most cases, I’M the one tryna maintain a relationship, I’m the one callin only to get a voicemail, I’m the one texting only to get silence in response, I’m the one on the phone tryna maintain a conversation, I’m the one doin all the favors, and you know what?  I’M THE ONE ALWAYS GETTIN THE SHIT END OF THE STICK AND I’M THE ONE WHO GET’S BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING!

ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!!

But no, it’s NEVER your fault.  (you being plural, I’m not talking about just one person)

Here are some common responses to when I say things like this:

“Aren’t relationships suppose to be two ways?”   ” Well, if you don’t talk to me, then I guess we just won’t talk”

“When is the last time that you hit me up?”   “Well, you never hit me up.”

*sigh*

I’m tired of playing games, and trust me, I’ve been playing video games since I first got my Sega Genesis since I was 6 years old.  Shit, I didn’t stop playing video games as much just to play more games.  If that’s the case, then I might as well go back to the games I used to play back when I was younger; at least I could win at those.

The way I see it is, any form of communication is like a dance.  To be successful at dancing with a partner, it takes equal effort from all parties involved.  Yes, even people that just know how to bump and grind without any knowledge of any other dance styles can relate as well.  Think about it, when a girl grinds on a guy, she expects him to at least move his hips in rhythm with her, not to just stand there motionless.  And I know damn well that a guy doesn’t want a girl to stop grindin as soon as she get up on it, or to go out of control with it to the point that it’s not enjoyable.  See?  Same rules apply to waltzing, performing salsa, etc.  It just doesn’t work like it’s suppose to if one side does everything; and the same goes for communication in my eyes.

Alright, I’m off of this topic, onto something else.

I think the phrase of today would be “GUESS I GOT MY SWAGGA BACK”.  I finally went shopping and for 100$ that I got from my moms I got a pair of vans and a pair of high-top pumas, so that’s the first ‘step’ in my plans to renew my appearance.  I remembered one of my pet peeves though:  I hate it when the same color doesn’t match with it.  For example, I hate it when your hat, your du-rag,  your shirt, your shorts, and your shoes are all the different shade of black.  It’s sooo annoying when you’re technically matching, but you’re actually not because everything is slightly off.

While shopping, I was happy to see a lot more Spanish speaking families out shopping around Florence.  That’s the thing about me; I love being around Mexicans and I love being around Chinese people (in China).  I love their culture and I aspire to learn their language so that I can join them in their fun culture.  I think that if things continue this way, in the next 50 years Florence may be like California…but that’s kind of wishful thinking, but hopefully it’s possible.

Tonight, after I help my moms cook and clean up the house a bit, I’mma go and kick it at a Starbucks (yeah, real original I know) and hopefully meet some people there.  It will be my first time hanging out in a group with other peoples that I used to hang out with since being back, so I’m excited.  The only thing is, I invited anyone who wants to come, and I hang out with pretty diverse crowds, so it might take some people getting used to other people who all wanna catch up with me but don’t know anything about each other.  But they are adult, so I think things will be alright.  Hey, maybe I’m being optimistic about people showing up at all, but a guy can hope at least lol.  If no one does show up, then at least I’ll have a nice cup of coffee with a book to read and my iPod. =)

Ok, I think I’ve covered everything that’s been on my mind today so far, so I’ll call it a day for blogging.  Besides, I got a lot of stuff to do anyways for my mommy =) haha.

P N B E

James Shonin Kelly III