More Bathing Thoughts – 文化

In contrast to my last blog where I couldn’t even formulate any sort of coherent thought for days, I now have so many that I’m trying to type and write them down before I forget them.  But one realization that I have come to is about culture and the way it functions.  I completely understood while taking a bath, similarly to when I had my wisdom teeth removed in Big Things” href=”http://snowfieldrhapsody.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/bathing-thoughts-small-things-big-things/” target=”_blank”>December.

While chilling in the bath, I was trying to figure out the source of my frustration this past week.  Although it was quite obvious what the source was, I was trying to understand why the situation was so frustrating since there seems to be no solution available for me.  And then my mind reverted back to a statement said by my homie related to culture shock.  I have never thought of myself as having culture shock at any point in my life, but maybe that’s not exactly true now that I think about it.  I think my shock has been a part of my lack of understanding of how to assimilate into cultures that differ from my own.

Even though I pride myself in having many friends from various backgrounds,  to say I’ve been accepted into each of their cultures is something that I can not claim.  Thinking about this fact made me think about why that is the case.  It just may be true that any foreigner may never be able to fully be a part of a culture, but I’d like to think that there are some cultures that exist outside of this close-minded type of thinking.  Thinking about the nature of culture itself, there are many nuances that accompany it that can’t be explained in words.  When you are a foreigner entering into another country with the intention of integrating yourself comfortably within it, there are things that one have to realize.

These things are things that I have thought about in the past, but neither fully understood nor was willing to comply because I did not know how to.  Basically, it comes down to one thing.  Being able to change yourself enough to fit within the confines of the culture, while remaining who you are as an individual.  When I’ve questioned on how to approach certain situations, I heard both “You don’t need to worry about everyone else and what they think” and “That’s just the way it is, you can’t change it so you just have to deal with it”.

Both of those mindsets are ones that are completely opposite to each other and personally, up until this bath, wasn’t particularly fond of either for these reasons:

1) Even if one doesn’t care about what people think about one’s self, that perception will determine who one is in that particular society even if it’s different than what one thinks of himself.  As a result of the advice “just be yourself”, that perception could affects one’s ability to make friends, get jobs, and other social activities that you will eventually need to participate in.  In a sense, it’s incorrect to say that it doesn’t matter because it actually does.  This point is even more important if one is making an effort to be included within this new society.

2) It is one thing to accept a culture as an entity that cannot be simply changed drastically by your actions, however, changing one’s whole self into something that is not them can lead to many problems.  These problems can culminate into issues such as depression, etc. due to a negative self image of what one has become just to ‘fit in’.  In addition to this negative self image, others may conclude that this attempt to assimilate is a ruse, which may result to distrust and caution when interacting.  I believe this method is the most damaging because it can potentially affect both one’s self and the atmosphere around the culture one is trying to enter.

3) One could simply not try to be proactive in their approach to interacting with the chosen society’s culture and could try to assimilate by imitating a particular method used by others who are also attempting to fit in.  A potential problem arising from this comes from the way social structures are formed.  In any society the behavior of people changes based on culture, but the overall [function] of each individual within a given circle does not change.  In an example, in a typical group of friends there is an outgoing/leader personality, a jokester aka the funny guy,  the shy/humble person, etc.  Some of these roles cross over in the sense of one person assuming more than one role, however, due to the competitive nature of humans I believe, it is rare for a circle to function normally with multiple personalities present.  This is the reason why two funny guys or two playboys end up competing with each other, aka one-upping each other, in (un)subtle ways in conversations (i.e. comparing personal situations, seeking the most attention, redirecting attention from the other similar personality).  Balance and territory are important in social groups, so impersonating a personality that works for others not only carries the same potential implications as #2, but could also lead to unwanted conflicts from the one one impersonates.

With all this said, no wonder thinking about what would be the best way to fit into another culture was such an infuriating task.  Being able to change yourself enough to fit within the confines of the culture, while remaining who you are as an individual has been hinted at me though listening to various advice, but it was never put to me in a way that didn’t involve me falling into any of those three categories.  People who care about fitting into a culture and have been successful may have used the 3 methods listed above and are fine with their situation may disagree with me.  Some may be reading this and be saying, “Duh, of course that’s what you have to do!” even though they have not given me this advice, in which case I feel they have no right to say this to me if they are someone that I interact with.

Different things work with different people.

Always having that realization, I came to this course of action.  Thinking back to my actions in the past, most of them have fallen into those 3 categories, while the ones that have given me happiness have been when I have been able to participate in a particular culture while being able to be the person I want to be.  As far as what I specifically need to do, I have no idea.  On the other hand, I do know what I shouldn’t be doing.

The last thing that I realized was how cohesive humans actually are.  It’s a beautiful and ugly relationship people have with each other.  We usually see the ugliness of humans when there is controversy of any kind (i.e. fighting, competing, shunning) occurs.  The beauty comes into play with the simple fact that humans, now matter how different they are, will always have a similar person to relate with.  My grandmother used to tell me (she still does) “Everything has a place where it belongs”.  Although this quote was directed at my dirty clothes lying around the floor of my room, it can be applied to humans as well.  If you don’t like wearing clothes, there are a group of nudist waiting for you.  If you like smoking weed, you can toke it up with others with the same love for green.

Mutual interest forms societies.  Societies develop specific cultures.  Everyone has a place where they belong.  Anyone can find their place within a given society, it’s just all about how to go about doing it.  I now have confidence in finding where I belong without sacrificing self integrity.  A different culture isn’t bad, nor is any culture better than another.  They are just different, therefore, one must adjust in a way that benefits both the self and the culture that one will contribute to.  Mutual benefits between a culture and the person within it will be obtained when one finds his place.

Yes, today’s bath was a very good one indeed…

PNBE

Snowfield Rhapsody

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