Guys With Confidence, Fortune=Misfortune, and More Cowbell

Yeah, I’m going to blog a lil earlier today because I am thoroughly exhausted.  Because of certain things that went on last night, I ended up getting about 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night.  Honestly, if it wasn’t for my homegirl callin me at 6 I woulda been late for work.  But I had the craziest dream tho….

It was a dream about me sleeping while dreaming.  Kind of like an outer body perspective.  I remember that everything that I was dreaming about/worrying about/stressing about worked itself one by one.  I saw the situation in my head that I was trying to solve while watching myself sleep, tossing and turning, until I thought of a solution to the problem.  When I did, I, the one laying down, would stop struggling.  Until another problem arose.  But yeah, I forgot all the solutions to all my problems when I woke up so I have no way of knowing if I really had the solutions that I need in my life. *sigh* I hate forgetting good dreams.

Anyway, enough with the weird dreams and onto the weird title (as always).  So in my half-asleep stupor at work today, I was thinking about how most women feel that men that aren’t confident when tryna get at a girl is almost a definite turn-off.  I’m not sure about how much leeway each and every girl gives a man in terms of displaying his confidence, but I believe that in most cases the guy who is the most confident will have a higher chance of being a player or a cheater or someone who doesn’t really care about you in the same way that you want them to.

I say this because for most men who truly like a girl, and this has been studied, there is a natural….let’s say hesitation/nervousness…which comes from the pressure of the thought of approaching/being around her.  Even if he is confident in himself, this nervousness may cause him to fumble over his words, maybe act a bit  sheepish when talking, you know, things of that nature.  I know of a lot of girls that would just say “No” at that point in time because of the seeming lack of confidence when in actuality, the person just likes them.

I strongly believe that that is the reason why women get fucked over by assholes all the time; because even though they treat everyone else like shit, they come up to the girl with confidence, which is what they like, and makes them believe that they are special.  Now I know that being confident doesn’t lead to all bad relationships, but in this scenario  the confidence is what sets up everything.

So, this brings me to my next point.  If the shyer guy may be a better choice, then why don’t more women approach guys?  Is it due to the matriarchal brainwashing of American society that leads women to be the passive ones while the males be the more aggressive/active ones?  But don’t women strive for equality?  I think it’s kind of counter-intuitive for women to not go after a guy she likes because she believes it’s the guy’s job to approach her.  I’m pretty sure there are almost as many men who like assertive women just like women like assertive men.  If a man wants a weak woman, then it’s probably to cover up for his insecurities and/or to be dominant over the span of the relationship.  In short, women, do what you gotta do and cut some men some slack.  You never know, by doing this you could meet the love of your life….

Anyways, after I pondered this for a while, I started thinking about fortune and the concept of TI(A)NSTAFL (there isn’t(aint) no such thing as a free lunch).   This can be stated in many different ways: Equivalent Exchange, Yin and Yang, Cause and Effect, etc.  So, thinking in terms of my religion, I gave myself this scenario:  Say two people are both in the same SGI community and both of these people have been struggling to find a job before their family becomes financially strapped.  At one meeting, one of those people is chosen to give an experience about how he found his new job and during the experience, the other guy realizes that they actually applied for the same job, but the guy giving the experience got it and he didn’t.  Through his misfortune of not getting the job, the other guy was fortunate enough to get the job instead.

And these kinds of things happen all the time in various scenarios.  What was on my mind today when I was thinking about this was that there is no way that there will be more fortunate things happen than unfortunate.  One’s benefit could be one’s devastation.  Yes, one could pray that this would change, but I feel strongly that good and bad things can’t exist if one of them isn’t present at all.  So what does one do then if one needs some fortune?  If one chooses to pray, then one prays for their happiness and for the happiness of the next person, even if their happiness may lead to someone else’s unhappiness.  I believe life is a zero-sum game; if you concentrate on all the good things and survive the bad things, because of the delicate balance of good/bad, I think at the end of your life you end up with 0 because of the negative and positive things balancing out.

Yeah, sorry if I can’t sum that up any better.  Then, my mind randomly came back to a statement that I saw on Facebook stating that the English language is dying.  I discussed this a lot last semester in my writing 101 class, and I believe that the English language is changing, not dying.  Whether people acknowledge this or not, people are developing their own voices in writing when they blog, post comments, anything really when they have to type on a computer, or text message, or instant message, or any other media besides an academic essay or speaking.  We just happen to be at a point where we have so many new ways to interact with each other that it seems like things are deteriorating.  I see it more as change than anything else.  Not good or bad, just change.

Next, my mind meandered to the argument of women complaining that straight men don’t take care of themselves like gay men do.  I won’t say too much on this, but I think that men, whether straight or not, will fix their appearance to the type of girl they want in addition to how comfortable they feel in their appearance.  I forget specifically where I was going with this, but yeah, that’s what I think lol.

After that, my mind wandered into music as it often does and I started to think about the oldies-but-goodies and I noticed something:  Most of the good slow jams, especially the love making jams, you know, the ones that people my age were probably conceived off of?  Yeah, those.  You know what makes them epic?  The Cowbell.  That’s right, I said it.  The cowbell in “Make It Last Forever” – Keith Sweat or in “Between The Sheets” – The Isly Brothers and “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love” – Barry White sets it off.  And if you didn’t notice it in the past, listen for the cowbell, and  you will then realize the power of the cowbell lol.

Well, I know this has been a long blog, but those are the main thoughts that popped into my head at work today.  Thanks for readin and I’mma catch ya later after I pass out into this wonderful nap imma bout to indulge in.

Peace and Be Easy

James Shonin Kelly III