Epic Statements Online Are Annoying

Only because it sucks when you spend time trying to say something bold or catchy or intriguing to grab a lil bit of attention and then you come up with nothing.  So instead of wasting time on something like that, I decided on this title.

I think this blog might be a lil short, but that way it might be easier on others to read.  Does it really matter since only 5 people read this anyways?  lol I wonder who those faithful followers are….

Anyways, the things that I thought about today primarily dealt with the theme of self imagery.  How does one see themselves?  How do people see me?  Do I see myself in the same way that other people see me?  How about vice versa?  Is it even possible to see yourself in the same way as someone else sees you?

I know for a fact that I see myself way differently than what the world sees me as.  When I see myself in the mirror, I see all the good things about myself that I think is obvious to people.  But, however, when I see myself in pictures and video,  I see clearly what everyone else sees.  Is it because I have known myself longer than anyone else on this earth?  Hmm…

Ok, here’s a list of things about me physically that I see that should appeal to people:

My teeth- Although my teeth are currently moving because my wisdom teeth, at least my grill is pretty decent.  In addition, at least I have a pretty decent smile as well.  A charming smile goes a long way doesn’t it?

My lips-  Because my face is rounder than it has been in the past, I’m not sure how many people know this, but my lips are pretty full compared to most other people’s.  I also haven’t had too many complaints about my kissing skills as of yet, so I think that’s a plus.  There are other use for full sized lips, but I’ll just leave it at that.

My Broad Shoulders-  Most people would agree that cuddling with their significant other, especially during the winter/cold weather, is something that is desired in a healthy relationship, no?  Well, I definitely have the arm span to warmly snuggle with my significant other haha.

Muscles/Strength (especially the calfs)-  Even though they aren’t visible, I did play football in high school and lifted weights often even when I wasn’t on the team, so I’m not necessarily weak.  So even if they aren’t as visible, I assure you they are there to protect my significant other.  And if you want proof of them, just check out my calfs (they are the most defined muscles on my body I think).

Toes-  I don’t have run-away-African-slave looking feet, definitely not the prettiest, but definitely not the worst out there.

There are maybe one or two physical parts, but I think that’s o.k. for now.

But I do not believe none of that translates into what people see or think of me.  I would like to say “But that’s fine” but that’s like judging food that may not look particularly appetizing to someone even though it might taste good and and may very well be good for them.

This originally was going to be a blog about perception, but now it’s going to turn into somewhat of a rant about being alone due to a certain situation that happened literally minutes ago.  It’s situations like these where I need a good woman by my side when  you can’t go to your closest male homies about stuff.  Especially if most of them are involved.  Thanks to her, my anger dissipated after she told me things were gonna be alright.  Sometimes people just need that security; a brief break from reality, even if it lasted for 2 seconds.

See, here is something about me.  When I feel really strongly about any emotion, particularly with anger or frustration, the only way I can deal with it is by being quiet.  It’s not like I am not trying to alleviate the situation with my quietness, it’s just a natural defense mechanism for when things seem hopeless or I have no control over the situation.  And unless the situation is resolved or I seek out a person that can calm me down, I’ll stay like this.

That’s how I feel right now.  There are so many things that I want/feel the need to say, but I will keep my mouth shut because I do not want to make the situation any worse, I just want a solution.  And just listening to someone talk about something different eases my mind.  This is one of the reasons why I prefer to listen to people rather than talk.

*sigh* So many feelings, but no one to talk to.  I could talk to myself, but that could lead to insanity and plus, I just would prefer to listen to someone else talk to me.

Well, I’ll leave it at that for tonight. I think I’ll just listen to music till I pass out and have to get up in less than 3 hours for work anyways.

Even saying “I knew it” or “I told you so” doesn’t matter; didn’t matter back then; will not matter in the future; and will never matter if what you are saying isn’t really heard or doesn’t matter to the intended audience.  (saying that alone may not make sense, but it makes sense to me)

Peace out