De-Stressing

Sometimes when you have a lot going on you need various outlets to de-stress.  Today, this is what this blog is about.  No offense readers, but this blog is all about me today in my efforts to calmly get away from this building stress.

*sigh*

Fuck.

I can’t even believe that I’m in this situation right now.  So many good things are happening at the same time that bullshit is.  I wanna be better as a producer and musician by trying to get my shit out there while I got finals and other responsibilities knocking on my door with their hands out.  What are their hands waiting for?  My precious time and energy.

In Japan, I hit the lowest point I’ve ever hit in my life.  This semester, from today I became something that I never wanted to become.  Today, I became a zombie.  There are many terms that I could use to describe what I was today.  I woke up, and I did everything that I needed to do.  I woke up without pressing the snooze button at 4:30 am, I studied for my Chinese test and did way better than I thought I would on it, did homework early, etc.  I EVEN FOLLOWED A SET SCHEDULE DOWN TO THE LAST SECOND.

And not once did I think during this whole process.

No personal thoughts, inquiries, or ponders.  Everything that was said to me by anyone that didn’t pertain to what I was doing at the time went in through one ear and out the other with no brain processing whatsoever.  I sat in a study room for 6 hours with other zombies toiling away at mundane tasks only processing what’s right in front of me; racing to get to the end of this one thing before starting on another.  It wasn’t until I woke up from my nap that I realized what happened.

Fuck, I never wanna experience that again.  Is that what college is?  Just mindlessly doing school work, not interacting with people (group projects don’t fucking count), and just having a blaze attitude about everything that isn’t school work?  I promised myself that I would NEVER EVER become like THOSE people.  THOSE people who don’t see past the next page of the book that their fucking nose is stuffed in.  One who doesn’t socialize, doesn’t really chill with anyone, doesn’t really do anything fun, and never really expresses emotion because they aren’t there.

Or worse…

I could become an adult who is like that all the time.  If that happens, then I’ll be full of regret and blah blah blah – the typical thing you see with adults nowadays.

Anyways, I have much more to rant about, but I have no time.

Quick shout-outs to J-Co (that’s your name Jake), Maia, Naughty Nine^2, J Masta, Blinkadink and everyone out there in the music game supporting me.

(forgot to post this blog last night)

PNBE

Snowfield Rhapsody