What Do You Value?
- James Kelly
- Dec 8, 2017
- 5 min read
(Pssst! If you are new to the blog, try starting here!)
I realized while writing the Persona post that I’ve neglected my Main Self since coming back to America in 2015.
I know that culture shock and existential depression (ExD) most definitely played a significant factor in that neglect, but I have to call myself out on it in order to make the necessary changes.
The ‘lost’ feeling and perpetual mental fog came and went but was always there gnawing at me until I split up what I was doing in life into my ‘personas’. Once they were split (going so far as to even make separate emails and computer users for each) I thought I had figured things out.
As I worked more and more in each ‘persona’…I had no stability or ‘cohesion’ between them despite my mind telling me that they were all interrelated. In other words, I felt that all the personas were merely extensions of me when the opposite was true – I was losing myself in my personas and forgetting about the Main Self.
And it showed in my actions – eventually I stopped being able to work on any of the personas.
I just couldn’t figure it out…it wasn’t that I wasn’t motivated (they all have their reasons for existing as personas), but hitting a simple roadblock in one persona would shut down work in every area for the rest of the day. Once I read the quote about how people with low self-esteem seek fame and glory and thought back to how I talked about myself to people is when everything clicked about my own ‘persona confusion’.
Luckily I thought of a solution for it while writing in my daily journal back in 10/23 – establishing values and adhering to them. I think my Psych background mixed in with my intuition led me to the correct answer (which is happening a lot) and I’m glad it did. I’ll share my values down below, but first the questions need to be asked:
What is a ‘value’ and how can I measure it in our lives?
How is it related to self-esteem, my personas, and well-being?
What are the benefits of ‘values’ and how can I implement it immediately?
Let’s see what Science and Spirituality have to say.
Science Quotes:
“Value is that quality of anything which renders it desirable or useful.” (dictionary.com)
“The word [value] reports either the rational act of judging or individual results of judging the presence of such qualities.” (wiki.org) – in regards to the value being intrinsic or instrumental.
“[Values] help to define who a person is and will impact how others see them, and how the person sees themself.” (universalclass.com)
“If the pursuit of self-esteem is detrimental to the individual and society, it is a reflection of the values that society offers up for internalisation.” (positivepsychology.org.uk)
Spiritual Relation:
“Worth implies especially spiritual qualities of mind and character, or moral excellence” (dictionary.com)
“There were things there that I was beginning to believe might have some truth in them, yet in my circles, many of those ideas were unaccepted.
I was so insecure that in order for me to feel the answers were right and that my point of view was legitimate, I needed people to agree with me and my way of thinking.
What I have learned over the years was that it is okay for other people to have different points of view, and if I truly believe something is right, in general or right for me, it does not matter what others think. I have begun to trust my own value system and not rely only on what others think.” (tinybuddha.com)
SR Thoughts:
‘Values’ can be interpreted in many ways – I’m going to define it as ‘literally anything you are willing to fight/die for’ because that helps me clearly define in my head. Actually writing them down on paper helps as well. Here are my four solid ones right now:
Freedom – Unless I willingly give it up, I’d personally rather die than have my freedom taken away from me. Doesn’t matter what the subject or matter is, I will absolutely reject it if it infringes on the innate freedom of another.
Respect – Superseding even unconditional love, respect is neutral in that you could love and/or hate someone but still ‘show/give’ respect if it is due. This includes concepts such as ‘respect for all life’, etc.
Truth – Not to be confused with ‘honesty’; pursuit of the truth is something I will always strive for, no matter how or what that truth is.
Time – Time in the sense of how we experience it (moment to moment) as 3D beings. For us, time = life, therefore it’s imperative that it be upheld and respected.
Doesn’t matter if it has intrinsic or instrumental value as long as it feels indispensable or as if you would rather not live without it.
Especially if you have discovered personal self-esteem issues; developing positive values goes a long way in forming positive high self-esteem. (Positive) High self-esteem helps ease the burden of (existential) depression so keep that in mind.
Attaching your values to your Private Self allows you these benefits:
-Never ‘losing yourself’ or having ‘persona confusion’ since you have already determined what ‘yourself’ truly cares about.
-Allows the delegation of ideals and principles to personas (future post incoming)
-Solidifies to the Soul what Main Self + vessel will stand/fall for
-Positive values generally promotes healthier self esteem (regardless of if alone or around people)
Soul>Values>Private>Intimate>Personas = Healthy Hierarchy of Self
If you have never written down your personal values before then now is the perfect time to start. Do not wait until you are mid-life crisis-aged to do this; and if you are already near or past that age then better late than never!
It’s okay to take your time writing each one down because, although nowhere near as frequent as principles or ideals, some of them may change with time and life experience. What may serve you today may not work tomorrow – and that’s perfectly fine.
Go all out! Even if you value ‘negative’ things, at least spend the time to be intellectually honest with yourself about them. No need to figure out where they come from, just getting them on paper is enough -> writing them right next to your list of ‘personas’ would probably paint the most cohesive image of yourself.
Side Notes:
Was the personas post a bit ‘deep’? As an intellectual, were you not impressed?
Regardless of either option, both are welcome here!
I would like intellectuals, Plain English natives, and all walks of life in-between to get something out of this blog. Therefore, I’ll be experimenting with post layouts a bit until feedback reflects more of what I want out of the Snowfield Rhapsody persona.
No point making it too ‘science-y’ since there actual blogs for most of the ‘science’ covered here (but I will link to them whenever possible). Making the blog too ‘plain spoken’ kinda cheapens what I want to do to a simple opinionated post with no factual basis whatsoever.
I am a social scientist by degree and a New Age Agnostic Shadow Worker by spiritual calling – I want SR to represent this even if I lose my most intelligent and most Plain Speak fluent readers.
Thank everyone for the support you have given me thus far though – it goes a long way.
SR
References:
Comments