the suffering thoughts of a selfish heart

what is it about humans beings

that make us lash out in violence

when we are angry…

but makes us weep in regret for our actions?

can it be found in the same substance…

can it even be understood?

i think not. i find myself pondering my own thoughts

of death, murder, anger i can’t control.

it comes in brust of energy…

but i can control it.

can it be because my prey is

a stronger hunter than i?

if he was weak

would i carry out my thoughts?

would it make me content?

some say not

but i differ in this response,

not all are so full of

regret for their actions.

i know my own heart

and i know what part yearns for his suffering.

i know that the other half is selfish

and will not feel pity for his tears.

if i can not have his happiness

i will have his suffering.

~normal is over-rated~